Listen up ladies. Justin Bieber seems to have taken on a new lover and he is so smitten that he canceled the rest of his tour to spend time with his new boo. Who is this mystery vixen you ask? Madison Beer? Nope. Emily Ratajkowski? Not quite. Actually, it doesn’t appear to a vixen at … More Bieber is Banging his Priest and I Can’t Even Get a Text Back
When I opened this article, I was bombarded with numbers to the point that the PTSD from my finance classes hit me harder than a haymaker from C-Breezy. Surely, I am about the furthest thing from a scientist, but I decided to power through and read it slow and steady. Basically what my lazy inferior … More Scientists Say Our Planet Is Passed The Point Of No Return But I May Have Just Solved Global Warming
After a crushing 29 point defeat the first time the Warriors took on the Spurs, they are treating this matchup like they’re playing the fucking Washington Mystics. With Kevin Durant already sidelined with a knee injury, the dubs have deemed this game a lost cause, sitting their four next best players too. Let me get … More Warriors vs. Spurs? Going To Be Like Watching Nets vs. Sixers
Last night was the latest instance of a growing trend in the NBA. In a win against the Denver Nuggets, Washington Wizard’s forward Markieff Morris was ejected for kicking Mason Plumlee in the nuggets (I had to). This is the fifth NBA penis assault I can think of in the last two years and I’m … More Another Attack On NBA Gooches
BUSCH LEAGUE CHAMPS 