War Dogs? More Like War Hogs!

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“The military spends five times as much on Viagra as it would on transgender troops’ medical care” –Washington Post

Yesterday, Trump put some tweets up saying that he is now putting a ban on Transgender people joining the Military. His reasoning is that it would cost too much to pay for hormones and what not.

However, it’s evident that our Military spends five times the amount of these costs on Viagra each year! Now why would the greatest army in the world release that information to the public? How are we supposed to look our enemies in the eye when they know that we can’t even get our dicks up?

Well terrorists, it just so happens that these absurd Viagra purchases are actually being used for the creation of a top secret “boner bomb” (patent pending). Our dicks work fine! Have you ever tried to get anything productive done while you’re pitching a tent? Well Isis is going to have their pants full with the whole goddamn campsite when we blow this new weapon. The Pentagon is on the brink of a tactical break through. One small step for dicks, one giant leap for dicks.


Now that I have saved our international image, it is important to note that transgender people are absolutely still allowed to serve in the Military. Trump didn’t do anything. All he did was tweet. I tweet dumb shit all the time.

I know nothing about politics. I studied finance and law in college. But what I do know from my long career in dating crazy girls is a distraction when I see one. I can sniff out a scheme from a mile away. All eyes have been on Trump recently in regards to his policies regarding healthcare. Now with a few taps of his fingertips, he has shifted the liberals‘ attention to this bullshit ploy. And while everybody is watching his right hand, he’s going to release a shit storm with his left.

I smell a snake people. But hey, who am I to call out the president? All I am is a guy with a mac book and a boring day job.






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