So Emma Watson has caught some heat from the media recently for dressing slutty when she’s supposed to be a model feminist and a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador (whatever that means). The picture above caused an uproar from wholesome normal people who feel that she is objectifying herself and contradicting her feminist preachings. That being said, I am not a wholesome normal person. It just so happens that not long after that article came out, nudes of Emma Watson as well as Amanda Seyfried were leaked online.
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I cannot stress enough how excited I get when celebrity nudes are leaked online. The original Fappening was like Christmas morning for me. The weirdest part is, its not even just a sexual thing. I mean obviously celebrity girls are notoriously hot. But I get just as excited when a dick pick gets leaked. Like I’m not even that horny I’m just extremely curious.
Now I’m assuming that each and every one of you scrolled through that entire thing. Emma’s pictures were pretty hot but what’s good with those tub videos? Nobody wants to look at a full screen up close shot of that pepperoni nip. Also, why are you squirming around in that tub looking like a boa constrictor wrapping around its prey. That was actually the least sexy thing I’ve ever seen a naked girl do.
Amanda Seyfried on the other hand, good looks on those paddle board pictures. If it wasn’t for you throating a dick front and center, I would have thought that was straight off of some NYU photography student’s Instagram. The intricate use of saturation and depth almost makes the viewer completely forget that some dudes hairy one eyed trouser snake is staring right back at them. Almost.
By: Chris Sanfilippo