Another Attack On NBA Gooches

dick kick

Last night was the latest instance of a growing trend in the NBA. In a win against the Denver Nuggets, Washington Wizard’s forward Markieff Morris was ejected for kicking Mason Plumlee in the nuggets (I had to). This is the fifth NBA penis assault I can think of in the last two years and I’m not really sure how I feel about it.

On the bright side, nothing gets a brawl going in any situation than a swift kick to the dong. And nobody loves a good sports brawl more than me. But on the other hand, I’ve been hit in the balls before. Even a light tap in the right spot feels like someone squeezed them in a vise, forced them into your stomach, and then stabbed you in the gut.

Now I am annoyed extremely easily by people, especially in the media. I’m a huge hater and I hold grudges against people that I have never even met. But I can’t think of one NBA player that I would wish this torture upon. As men, I think we need to join together and eliminate targeting guys packages altogether. At a certain point, we need to realize that this crippling pain is almost never deserved. If you’re fighting through a screen and accidentally swipe a guy’s beef in the process, then that is a little bit different.


But these blatant, Draymond Green-like dick kicks need to end. Dirk has been shooting one legged faders for 20 years and I have never seen him kick a guy in the jewels. And he has the most effective one legged shot of all time.

So I guess in the process of writing this I have realized that I am actually against this move. Maybe I do have at least a little bit of a soul. Wow, nothing helps a man learn the truth about himself better then writing a blog about dicks. Give it a try Mel Gibson, maybe you don’t hate Jews as much as you think after all.

By: Chris Sanfilippo



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