Today marks about a month and a half to the Trump presidency and people across the world are still wondering how the fuck we got here. Take it back to June 2015 when everyone thought this psychotic piece of shit had no chance of winning the highest office in the land.
But through everyone’s continued doubt, we only saw this major douche keep pulling out wins from his ass and upsetting and enlightening the majority of the America at the same damn time. It was like one big Twitter troll for a whole year.
Now that I’ve had time to accept that a male over sized Snooki assumes the oval office, I’ve realized how long we’ve had this coming to us. For years on end, we’ve been watching the more popular polarizing figure take power because she or he is cooler, or has a bigger *hands. We’ve watched buffoons with no experience think they can take charge over people who actually really care.
Basically, there’s been a whole lot of instances in pop culture, whether that be TV shows we watched or movies, that has put this Trump dictatorship into a god damn reality.
Yeah guys, it’s 100% our fault. Here are just three unfortunate instances that I have noticed.
- Bobby Newport – Parks and Recreation (2012)
OK so this is probably the most recent and fresh instance I can think of. Bobby Newport was a fictional character played by Paul Rudd on the awesome show Parks and Recreation.
This dude is a straight up dingdong. He’s a rich, spoiled three year old son of a bitch who runs for city Council against Leslie Knope. Anyone who watches the show knows Leslie Knope, the main character of the show, is not to be fucked with in terms of local public service. But the majority of the race saw Newport in the lead, a quite similar comparison to the rise of his counterpart Donald Trump.
The hilarity of this is that Trump and Newport pretty much both said ridiculous shit in really important circumstances that helped boost their ratings. My favorite example. Both quotes during important debates.
Newport: “I guess my thoughts on abortion are, you know, let’s just all have a good time.”
Trump: “Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Rubio] referred to my hands- ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem there. I guarantee.”
So one line was written by a bunch of cheesy comic writers stoned off their ass all day, and the other was an actual quote from our standing president. Cool!
- Supreme Commander – The Brave Little Toaster (1998)
The Brave Little toaster movies were pretty popular when we were five, but also trippy as fuck. Watching one now could only be done under the influence – which is actually what we all did.
Reliving our past by watching the one where they travel to mars made us realize how much the giant fridge is just like trump. So the lovable main cast of appliances have to travel to mars to retrieve masters abducted baby. Yeah life sucks right? When they get there they were greeted by a colony of angry old appliances that aggressively hated the world.
They were led by a loud over sized fridge that was able to convince them how horrible everybody was. The psycho fridge was plotting to blow up the earth because they thought they were deliberately built poorly and that humans didn’t appreciate them enough – Wonderluxe Appliance supremacy group. Sean Spicer, Steve Bannon; take note.
The giant douchery of a fridge, known as supreme commander, then breaks into song, which lyrically sounded like a compilation of 36 Trump tweets strung together. So fortunately, the brave Little toaster ran in the upcoming election and was able to convince all the old appliances to reconsider their opinion on humans – which definitely is portraying the future when a social justice liberal beats the hell out of the Donald in the next election.
3. Mr. Green – Hey Arnold (2000)
This one is by far my favorite because of how freaking awesome hey Arnold was, but also how accurate the situation is to the 2016 election. So fat, orange looking Mr. Green is upset with the standing Mayor because of the crumbling infrastructure of the city. Grandpa, probably drunk off his ass, drives his Packard right into a hole in the road in front of his butcher shop. Mr. green is livid.
Right off the bat this is so goddamn Trump because it deals with construction. (by the way anyone know what city the one in Hey Arnold is actually based off of? Who ever knew, potential future blog?)
The next day, a shitty city councilman puts a block of wood over the hole and Grandpas stupid ass drives through it again. Mr. Green then announces how much he hates this dickhead mayor and decides to run against him. So basically Trump hating Obama and deciding to succeed him in office.
Both Orange fat asses pick blondes to prominently run their campaigns. Trump: Kellyanne Conway. Mr. Green: Arnold.
So the snobby Mayor called Gladhand is annihilating Mr. Green in the polls because he fucks with the rich people. What gets Mr. Green ahead is during the debate, when he talks about how he would handle the city like he handles his meat. Jesus, it’s just screaming Trump and how he talks about handling the country the way he handles his illegal workers building his apartment complexes.
So the whole butcher talk gets the crowd in a frenzy and eventually the nomination for Mr. Green. In the end, the fat orange business owner pulls out the upset over the heavily favored politician who plays into special interests so much that his last name could’ve been Clinton.
This hey Arnold episode almost blatantly predicted Trump’s election as much as the Simpson episode when they literally had Trump become the president.
Un-effing-believable.
-Rob Fiorelli
Twitter: @itsrob_notbob
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